So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
