seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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