We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
