Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
