You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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