I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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