I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
