need another drink. this is the easiest way
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
