I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
