Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
