I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
