remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
