Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
