she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Panties = found
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
