If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Also, beer. Big fan.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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