I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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