We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
