I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
