Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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