Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
