And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
