Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
