I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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