i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
