you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
i out mim tonsoeep
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