is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
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