Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
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