I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
