they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
