Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
