Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
