someone get that fucking seahorse.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Randomize
