Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
