No, you can still breathe under the balls.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
