Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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