The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
