My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
