Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
