I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
