so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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