I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
