Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
