For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
