My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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