If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Randomize
