absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
