it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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