did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
