Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Randomize
