this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
