spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
